In case you missed it – we’re pregnant!! You know what they say… 6th time is a charm 🙂
It’s been a wild ride to get here and we’re so excited / cautiously optimistic considering the path we had to get here. All that said, I was inundated with questions about everything so I wanted to go ahead and put it on the website so it can be used as a reference down the road if you or anyone else you know might need it! Is this website changing into something other than a food blog, absolutely not.
So here goes…
First off – if you want to hear what the last 3+ years of this journey looked like, we made you a video. It’s got a LOT of information in it including the amount of times we miscarried, details about chemical pregnancies, how we handled each hurdle etc. Once that went up, my email and DM’s were flooded with questions so answering them all below. If I missed something, please feel free to comment below (you can do it anonymously if you prefer) and I can update this resource as needed. And feel free to share this link with anyone in your life that might be needing some intel!
- Winter 2017: 1st pregnancy – miscarried at 7/8 weeks – D&C shortly after
- Mid 2018: 2nd pregnancy – miscarried at 7/8 weeks – D&C shortly after
- Fall 2018: 3rd pregnancy – miscarried at 7/8 weeks – D&C shortly after
- 2019: 4th chemical pregnancy – no D&C needed.
- Fall 2019: 4th pregnancy – miscarried at 7/8 weeks – D&C shortly after followed by my septum surgery.
- 2020: 6th pregnancy that we thought was a chemical pregnancy and then turned out it wasn’t! Full details are on the video and fingers crossed this one is smooth sailing from here on out!
- Who was your fertility specialist: Dr Andy Huang at RPMG – we absolutely love him. He made every appointment relaxed and is a wealth of knowledge. Couldn’t recommend him more!
- What video resources did you use to educate yourselves before going to see a specialist: Fertility IQ has a ton of videos that educate you on the lingo used for fertility appointments and this was super helpful for us!
- Did you do Genetic Testing: yes!! all of it. Anything our doctors recommended, we did.
- Why didn’t you try IUI: IUI was never an option for us because the eggs aren’t genetically tested. Since past miscarriages were caused by chromosomal abnormalities, our doctor ruled out IUI.
- Did you consider IVF: we sure did! If you watch the video, you’ll see we were about to get started when we found out we were pregnant this most recent time.
- Did you ever consider adoption: absolutely! Still might if we have any issues getting pregnant down the road.
- Why did you opt for D&C’s rather than just waiting it out: personal choice and it’s really up to everyone to make these decisions on their own. For me, I like to plan things out so I wanted to be able to know when it was going to happen and when I could be back in action. Simple as that.
Supplements / Food / Prenatals / Workouts / Books etc:
- Pre-natal Vitamins: these are the ones that all my doctors have recommended to me.
- Did you change your workout routine: nope. I continued to do pilates every day but modified to not do quite so many abs. I would have continued to lift weights had it not been for Covid // my gym is closed.
- Have you changed how you eat: I have not. I’ve talked to numerous doctors and know exactly what I am and am not comfortable eating. I will continue to eat burrata until I go into labor. That’s all there is to it!
- What books have you been reading to help prepare: Expecting Better is the only one I have read cover to cover so far.
- Are you using a pregnancy pillow: you betcha! This one has been amazing!
Fertility General Questions:
- Did any of your pregnancies feel different / leading up to miscarrying etc. No – unfortunately they all felt the same so there was really no way for me to tell if it was going to stick leading up to the first couple of doctors appointments
- What at-home pregnancy tests did you use: I bought these in BULK the last few years
- What at-home ovulation kits did you use: here you go
- What’s the best way to support someone who is going through fertility issues: Everyone is so wildly different, I think it’s best to let them dictate what they need from you. Offer to be there for whatever they might need and then let them tell you what will be best. Me for example, I don’t want to have someone asking me how I’m doing all the time. So my friends know that if I want to talk about something, I’ll bring it up. Also many of them sent flowers or bottles or wine and cookies after my surgeries – always appreciated!!
- Did you experience any anxiety after miscarriages: not really because we were very prepared for the possibility of miscarriage. Coming from a medical family, I knew that 1 in 4 women miscarry so I never really got my hopes early because I knew the science behind it. I think that’s probably one of the best things I could have done for myself – just knowing the stats up front. Thomas had some really helpful things to say about this in the video above.
- How did you stay positive while in the throws of fertility struggles: Great question – it’s all about filling up your life with other things that make you happy. Spending time with your family, making incredible food, traveling, etc. There are so many other things that fill us up, we focused on those!
First Trimester Update:
- What did you eat in your first trimester: my diet was heavy on the grilled cheese and quesadilla world. I think I ate like 2 vegetables for those weeks. I couldn’t stomach them. I’m a big believer of giving your body what it wants, so if it needed carbs, that’s what it got!
- Did you have any cravings: literally not one. I’m so disappointed – I was ready for some weird things.
- How did you feel in your first trimester: meh – not great. I slept all the time, could only stomach grilled cheese sandwiches. Luckily I didn’t have any morning sickness.
Second Trimester Update:
- How did you feel in the 2nd trimester: the second trimester is boooooring. Besides your 20 week anatomy scan, it’s kinda smooth sailing as far as my experience goes. I felt great. Didn’t take as many naps. Was able to eat vegetables again and could work out a ton!
- When did you start to show: I started to show around 20 weeks.
- When did you feel comfortable telling friends: We kinda lucked out that we got pregnant during Covid which meant we weren’t really seeing any friends in person and didn’t have to hid not drinking at dinner parties etc. We told some very close friends early on, and then slowly let other people in on the secret once I was past 16 weeks. I didn’t announce it publicly until after I had my 20 week anatomy scan.
Third Trimester Update:
- What’s your birth plan: my birth plan is that I don’t have a birth plan. Here’s my way of thinking…. this baby is coming out however it wants. If I can rock a natural delivery and labor at home for as long as possible, amazing. If the pain is too intense, sign me up for an epidural. If the baby is breech, let’s do a C-section. The thing about child birth is that it’s 100% unpredictable so I’m going into the labor part of this with an open mind. Whatever is the safest way to get the baby out, that’s my plan.
- Did you hire a doula: We did not.
- Did you take any birthing classes: we took one through the hospital we’ll deliver at. It was 2 three-hour zoom classes and it was educational if you are going into labor/delivery blind. We are the last of our friends to have kids, so we’ve seen/heard a LOT of stories and were pretty prepared for everything that was covered.
- Registry must haves: we registered through BabyList so we could have multiple stores all in one place. I’ll update the Master List with baby must haves as we figure out what we actually love, use, and is super helpful.
- Are you meal prepping: our kitchen renovation is still a few days away from completion so not yet. But I did make this guide for other expectant moms and friends who want to help out anyone with a new baby.
- Will you get vaccinated while nursing: I don’t think the vaccine will be available for me for a few months (I’m writing this post in December 2020), but the answer is yes. If my doctor says it’s safe then I will get vaccinated as soon as I’m eligible.
- How are you planning to handle friends / family coming to visit bc of Covid: we’re taking it on a case by case basis. My parents are coming down before we go into labor as they have the ability to quarantine for 14 days and get tested. Once the baby is here, we’ll just have to take it case by case. If other members of our family and friend groups are able to properly quarantine for 14 days and be tested, then that’s amazing!! Otherwise, we’re being super safe until vaccines are widely distributed and it’s safe for the baby to be around other humans.
- Will continue to update this after the baby!!
Congrats and thanks for the info! What DHA vitamin did you end up going with?
My prenatal is linked in the post!
Lovely & Loving couple.!! Congratulations! Your insights, honesty & willingness to share are remarkable. I wish you both a wonderful new addition to your family. I am watching this video on a Sat. night!! That is how good you both are.
Congratulations! Your video brought back memories of my own fertility struggles. I went through 3 IVF treatments. 2 of them were successful and I have 2 beautiful daughters! Thanks for sharing your journey. Even tho everyone’s story is different, it will give them hope! Blessings to you both 🙂
Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your story. It brings comfort and hope to those of us on this infertility journey. I know everyone’s situation is different but curious if you cut out or really limited alcohol while you were trying to conceive. Three years in (unexplained infertility) and it is hard to balance wanting to live as normally as possible without adding the extra stress/limitations of trying to create the perfect environment. If that makes any sense.
I did not cut back on alcohol at all to be honest!
That makes me feel better. With quarantine especially trying to hold on to things that bring joy and wine is one of them 🙂
Congratulations and best wishes — your candid and heartfelt sharing of your journey is an inspiration. I wish I had an ounce of your positivity and perseverance!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. This has brought me comfort in knowing I’m not alone. I admire your courage to be open and share.
Thank you for sharing your story. Could you please tell how long before you got pregnant did you start having prenatals?
years as we were trying for 3 years so I started right when we first thought about having kids
Can you reshare your exercises or help for sacrum pain? My SIL is having so many issues with this and I’d love to share your resources, since they worked!
Having gone through fertility struggles and two rounds of unsuccessful IVF, your news brought me joy. I am so happy for you and your family!
I also appreciate your transparency. Though we know we are not alone, it sure does feel that way sometimes when you’re in the depth of the emotional highs and lows.
Looking forward to your baby adventures <3
Hi Gaby, congratulations!! This personally helped me a lot. I started using the prenatals you had ,: thorne basic prenatal. Can you let me know how many of these do you take in a day as the box says 3 a day which seems a bit too much??
I take 3 per day as directed (before I go to sleep) with a giant glass of water
Omg I feel better about not able to stomach vegetables during first trimester. Somehow they all tastes not great and I only want cream cheese and bagels thank you for sharing this!
Do you know the gender of the baby, and will the blog pause while you are on maternity leave?
we do and no the blog won’t pause!! I have so much content ready to roll and I’ll be cooking post-delivery for sure!
You must be due soon? I remember not being able to stomach much during the first tri. The smells of certain foods that I normally love — chicken wings — just grossed me out! Can’t wait to hear about your L&D and see your babe!
Congratulations! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I went through a fertility problem but after treatment, I had a conceived baby. your story brought back my fertility struggle. Thanks for sharing your journey!!!